I wasn't ready

Have you looked at a marriage and thought “If I was treated like that I’d leave!”  You wonder how that person can put up with that kind of treatment.  As I tell the stories of everything that led up to my marriage ending I’m sure there are a lot of people who will wonder why I stayed so long.  What kept me with him?  I can’t give anyone a clear answer other than “I wasn’t ready.”

I wasn’t ready to be the sole working parent supporting my kids and the only person responsible for them on a daily basis. 

I wasn’t ready to deal with hanging curtains, fixing the dryer, adding transmission fluid to the car, or fixing my daughter’s bed that is falling apart.

I wasn’t ready to be the only person who took sick kids to the doctor…and OMG, what if I’m the one who is sick???

I wasn’t ready to be the sole cook and bottle washer in the house.  I hate being the only one who nags the kids to clean after themselves and their cats.

Oh spiders…I hate spiders…I wasn’t ready to be the only spider killer in the house!

I’m still not ready to date but I wasn’t ready to say that being single and celibate is better than living in a miserable marriage.

It took a LONG time for me to be ready. 

Now each day I wake up and feel free…because I was ready.