Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Almost 50 and I'm starting over

Last month I left my husband of 28 years and our home of 10 years and moved with our three kids to a nearby city.  I'll be 50 in March.  I have a 21 year old son and 17 and 15 year old daughters.  I haven't dated anyone besides my soon to be ex-husband since I was 16.  He is the only man I've had sex with.  Now THAT is scary.  I've only had brand new, fumbling with clothes, discovering what each other looks like nude, sex with one person.  I've no idea what it is like to date as an adult.  I've no idea how to deal with all the issues of new sex (how long do I wait, who initiates, where to have it, etc.) as an adult.  I don't even know how to meet someone I might be interested in dating.

I just negotiated finding a rental home for the first time since I was 19.  I've lived in rentals, but they were mainly places where I knew the owner or fell into it and didn't need to bother with an application.  Man, do they ask a lot more questions than they did in the 80's.  My son had to fill out an application.  He'd never lived any place but with me and some rentals refused us because he didn't have a rental history.  He is a full time student with no money...what difference would it make if he had a rental history?

I had to set up utilities and negotiate setting up the wi-fi so my kids wouldn't dissolve into a puddle of unconnected goo.  I had to drive a U-Haul truck and back it up for the first time ever by myself.  I'm learning how to hang curtain rods, move furniture, put together a sectional sofa, and figure out how to get the full sized mattress and box-springs that I just purchased home.

I'm creating this blog for all of the other women who wait until later in life and find themselves starting over.  I plan to share most of the details of what lead to the divorce as well as how I'm starting over.  I don't know if anyone will read it, but maybe some other woman will find herself in a similar situation and will find solace in knowing she is not alone.

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